Day 7: Register for the Parkinson's Walk
I'm the youngest of 3 girls. My dad was older (40) when I was born, so he was already a certified softy by the time I came around. Those two things combined are the perfect recipe for creating a daddy's girl, and that is me, through and through. I have vivid memories of being 5 years old and my dad playing hookey from work for a few hours, the two of us heading back home to watch cartoons and eat grape pop tarts after dropping my sister off at school. Even when I was going through my totally unnecessary rebellious phase as a teenager (I had freedoms that you wouldn't believe, I have no idea what I was rebelling against, smh), he never got angry, he never pressed me. Even after doing the most ridiculous shit, he would always remind me, you know I love you.
I've always admired my father for his quiet nature and his incredible work ethic. He owned his own business from the time that I was 6 years old. I would often go to work with him and I loved to see how much his employees really loved him. And not in that brown nosing way that you're friendly with you boss because you have to be, but because they genuinely enjoyed interacting with him. He would spend a good majority of his days out of his office, interacting with his employees, literally hours spent walking the grounds of his large car dealership every day.
But as the years passed, he would get a little worn out and didn't walk around as much. He complained on different aches and pains and generally wasn't feeling himself. Year after year, doctors tested and misdiagnosed him. By this time, I was already away at college, but I saw my quiet, vibrant father begin to change. Our daily phone conversations would sometimes end abruptly, with him quickly passing the phone to my mom after stumbling over a word or two. Finally, he saw a doctor who specialized in neurodegenerative diseases and we got our answer. My dad had Parkinson's. When we found out, I was scared. I didn't know much about the disease, how it would affect my dad, and if it was something I needed to worry about facing when I got older. It's been 5 years since that initial diagnosis and at least some of my fears have subsided. With a good regiment of daily medication, regular exercise, and his support group, my dad is doing much better.
Because I'll always be that daddy's girl at heart, I've been trying really hard to find a place to volunteer with Parkinson's patients or one of the larger organizations for research. I finally came across an event called Moving Day. It's a 2.5 mile walk that raises money to support the National Parkinson Foundation. I immediately wanted to participate. Then I wanted to volunteer. Then I decided that I wanted to register a team and try to raise some money. I don't have a crazy high fundraising goal, but I'm operating under the idea that every little bit helps. But if I reach my goal and some part of that $250 goes to help find a cure for my dad or any other the other 1 million people in America living with Parkinson's, then it's worth it to me. My biggest fear is that I wont be able to meet my goal. I know I'll be disappointed, but more than that, I'll feel like I'm somehow letting my dad down. But I know that whether I blow my goal out of the water, or only raise $100, I know my dad will be proud and I know he loves me, just like always.
If you want to check out my team page, feel free!
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Risk #6
Day 6: Buy my web domain
So I'm noticing as a make my way through this list, that a lot of these things have to do with my newly solidified career/life plan. I think it's because I'm so excited about it and taking the steps to make it a reality scares the crap out of me. Because what if it fails? Or what if everyone thinks it's a stupid idea? Or who knows what other kind of craziness I come up with in my head...That being said though, today's risk is brought to you by planning the rest of my life.
I wish this could a long, super interesting post, but it's not. I went on GoDaddy and registered my domain name, AshleighTheNanny.com. One day in 10 million years when I have that elusive thing called free time again, I'll work on setting it up. As for right now, I'm just excited that eventually I can direct someone to my own website. It makes me feel fancy :)
So I'm noticing as a make my way through this list, that a lot of these things have to do with my newly solidified career/life plan. I think it's because I'm so excited about it and taking the steps to make it a reality scares the crap out of me. Because what if it fails? Or what if everyone thinks it's a stupid idea? Or who knows what other kind of craziness I come up with in my head...That being said though, today's risk is brought to you by planning the rest of my life.
I wish this could a long, super interesting post, but it's not. I went on GoDaddy and registered my domain name, AshleighTheNanny.com. One day in 10 million years when I have that elusive thing called free time again, I'll work on setting it up. As for right now, I'm just excited that eventually I can direct someone to my own website. It makes me feel fancy :)
Friday, July 6, 2012
Risk #5
Day 5: Do a HIPS Hotline shift.
So my friend Whitney and I volunteer for this amazing organization called HIPS. The acronym stands for Helping Individual Prostitutes Survive. *record scratch* Yes, we volunteer with an organization that helps prostitutes. And *gasp* our goal is not to get them off the street. HIPS follows a harm reduction model and works with their clients by meeting them where they are. Of course in a perfect world, no one would have to work as a prostitute, but that's not reality. The reality is that there are cis and trans gendered women out on the street every night trying to make money to pay rent, support their kids, or just get their next fix. And my job is not to judge them. My job is to help them. Without getting further into my feelings about the work that HIPS does, I acknowledged that people don't agree with it. And that's fine. If that's you though, you might want to skip this post and another that will come toward the end of the month when I do a HIPS van shift. Consider that your warning.
So HIPS does in person outreach, but they also run a hotline. I am trained in both components of outreach, but until now, I hadn't actually done a shift. I went through 4 days of intensive training, have packets upon packets of info, and a friend who has done a shift on the van so I could pick her brain. But I've always been too scared to do a shift of any kind. Luckily this month is about overcoming fears and taking risks, so when the July hotline schedule came to my inbox, I decided to sign up.
My shift started at 10. After dialing in, I carried my phone around with me like a baby. I needed it to be in my sight at all time and I had the ringer on the loudest setting. I had planed to hang around my house for the majority of the day, for fear I'd have to answer some awkward sex related question while I was in line at Target. 11:00 came, then 11:20, still no calls. I was a littler nervous that I hadn't dialed in correctly and that the calls weren't forwarding to my phone. I thought about calling the hotline on my other phone just to see, but then I got my first phone call. I was so nervous, I stumbled over my intro! It was a simple call, a question about HIV transmission. I'm sure the caller could hear me flipping through my packet as I double checked to make sure I gave him all the right information. And after that first call, I got a little less nervous. I answered a few question and set up some syringe exchanges, then before I knew it, it was 5:00 and my shift was over. I have no idea why I've been so nervous to do a hotline shift. After it was over, I felt good. I felt like I'd actually helped some people. And I definitely felt like when the August shift schedule comes through my inbox, I'll be signing up again.
So my friend Whitney and I volunteer for this amazing organization called HIPS. The acronym stands for Helping Individual Prostitutes Survive. *record scratch* Yes, we volunteer with an organization that helps prostitutes. And *gasp* our goal is not to get them off the street. HIPS follows a harm reduction model and works with their clients by meeting them where they are. Of course in a perfect world, no one would have to work as a prostitute, but that's not reality. The reality is that there are cis and trans gendered women out on the street every night trying to make money to pay rent, support their kids, or just get their next fix. And my job is not to judge them. My job is to help them. Without getting further into my feelings about the work that HIPS does, I acknowledged that people don't agree with it. And that's fine. If that's you though, you might want to skip this post and another that will come toward the end of the month when I do a HIPS van shift. Consider that your warning.
So HIPS does in person outreach, but they also run a hotline. I am trained in both components of outreach, but until now, I hadn't actually done a shift. I went through 4 days of intensive training, have packets upon packets of info, and a friend who has done a shift on the van so I could pick her brain. But I've always been too scared to do a shift of any kind. Luckily this month is about overcoming fears and taking risks, so when the July hotline schedule came to my inbox, I decided to sign up.
My shift started at 10. After dialing in, I carried my phone around with me like a baby. I needed it to be in my sight at all time and I had the ringer on the loudest setting. I had planed to hang around my house for the majority of the day, for fear I'd have to answer some awkward sex related question while I was in line at Target. 11:00 came, then 11:20, still no calls. I was a littler nervous that I hadn't dialed in correctly and that the calls weren't forwarding to my phone. I thought about calling the hotline on my other phone just to see, but then I got my first phone call. I was so nervous, I stumbled over my intro! It was a simple call, a question about HIV transmission. I'm sure the caller could hear me flipping through my packet as I double checked to make sure I gave him all the right information. And after that first call, I got a little less nervous. I answered a few question and set up some syringe exchanges, then before I knew it, it was 5:00 and my shift was over. I have no idea why I've been so nervous to do a hotline shift. After it was over, I felt good. I felt like I'd actually helped some people. And I definitely felt like when the August shift schedule comes through my inbox, I'll be signing up again.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Risk #4
Day 4: Register for a half marathon
This is one of the best/worst risks of the entire list! I've been wanting to do a long distance race for a long time. I can't even imagine what it must feel like to cross the finish line after running 13 miles. Like seriously can't imagine...because I kinda think your body shouldn't ever run that far. But for whatever reason, I really want to do it. So here I go, I'm going to do it.
After much reseach all over the Washington Running Report website, I narrowed it down to a few races. I really wanted to run the Peroni Crawlin' Crab Half Marathon in Hampton, VA. To be honest, I only wanted to do it because at the end of the race you get to go to a party with crab chowder and beer. I figured that perhaps that wasn't the best motivation. Not to mention I'd have to drive all the way down to Hampton and stay in a hotel, etc. It was a little much just to get some soup and beer, so I continued my search. Eventually I settled on the Woodrow Wilson Bridge half marathon. It's close by and know someone who's run it before so I can pick her brain about hills, bathroom situations, and the best way to train.
The race is October 7, so seemingly I have plenty of time to train. You have to be able to finish in 3 hours and 16 minutes, which is about a 15 minute mile pace. I'm at about a 12 minute mile right now (SLOW, I know), so my goal is to get it down to about 10:30-11 minutes so I'll have a cushion for when I get tired. Lord knows I'll have to walk a little. I mean seriously, it's 13 miles! Even as I write this I'm thinking, what the hell did I get myself into? And the best/worst part? You entry fee in non-refundable, so there's no backing out. And I'm too cheap to throw away the $95 entry fee lol. This is the epitome of excitement and dread.
This is one of the best/worst risks of the entire list! I've been wanting to do a long distance race for a long time. I can't even imagine what it must feel like to cross the finish line after running 13 miles. Like seriously can't imagine...because I kinda think your body shouldn't ever run that far. But for whatever reason, I really want to do it. So here I go, I'm going to do it.
After much reseach all over the Washington Running Report website, I narrowed it down to a few races. I really wanted to run the Peroni Crawlin' Crab Half Marathon in Hampton, VA. To be honest, I only wanted to do it because at the end of the race you get to go to a party with crab chowder and beer. I figured that perhaps that wasn't the best motivation. Not to mention I'd have to drive all the way down to Hampton and stay in a hotel, etc. It was a little much just to get some soup and beer, so I continued my search. Eventually I settled on the Woodrow Wilson Bridge half marathon. It's close by and know someone who's run it before so I can pick her brain about hills, bathroom situations, and the best way to train.
The race is October 7, so seemingly I have plenty of time to train. You have to be able to finish in 3 hours and 16 minutes, which is about a 15 minute mile pace. I'm at about a 12 minute mile right now (SLOW, I know), so my goal is to get it down to about 10:30-11 minutes so I'll have a cushion for when I get tired. Lord knows I'll have to walk a little. I mean seriously, it's 13 miles! Even as I write this I'm thinking, what the hell did I get myself into? And the best/worst part? You entry fee in non-refundable, so there's no backing out. And I'm too cheap to throw away the $95 entry fee lol. This is the epitome of excitement and dread.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Risk #3
Day 3: Purchase my first NCS online class
So as most people know, I'm a nanny. And not a part time, what am I going to do next type nanny, but an in the trenches helping to raise 3 kids, full time nanny. I love it. I am genuinely happy to go to work 99% of the time, and to be honest, I'd be perfectly happy being a career nanny for many years to come. But I have bigger plans. I can't spill all the beans here, but just know, I've got some things up my sleeve. One of those things happens to be becoming an NCS or Newborn Care Specialist. It's a fancy way to say night nurse or baby nurse lol. You provide childcare during the first 12 weeks of a baby's life, mainly at night, giving relief to exhausted new parents. It's the best of both world, getting to help new parents and getting paid to cuddle a teeny little baby!
Buying the class made me nervous because it was like putting a stamp of reality on my carefully constructed new life plan. I had this terrible feeling, like, what if I start learning about this more in depth and I don't even like it? Or what if I can't understand the material? Or, or, or...? I just bit the bullet, paid the money, and that was that. I won't be able to start the course for a few days because my internet is totally jacked because of some recent storms, but despite my initial nervousness, I'm super excited!
So as most people know, I'm a nanny. And not a part time, what am I going to do next type nanny, but an in the trenches helping to raise 3 kids, full time nanny. I love it. I am genuinely happy to go to work 99% of the time, and to be honest, I'd be perfectly happy being a career nanny for many years to come. But I have bigger plans. I can't spill all the beans here, but just know, I've got some things up my sleeve. One of those things happens to be becoming an NCS or Newborn Care Specialist. It's a fancy way to say night nurse or baby nurse lol. You provide childcare during the first 12 weeks of a baby's life, mainly at night, giving relief to exhausted new parents. It's the best of both world, getting to help new parents and getting paid to cuddle a teeny little baby!
Buying the class made me nervous because it was like putting a stamp of reality on my carefully constructed new life plan. I had this terrible feeling, like, what if I start learning about this more in depth and I don't even like it? Or what if I can't understand the material? Or, or, or...? I just bit the bullet, paid the money, and that was that. I won't be able to start the course for a few days because my internet is totally jacked because of some recent storms, but despite my initial nervousness, I'm super excited!
Monday, July 2, 2012
Risk #2
Day 2: Sign up for a dating site
Eeeek! Omg, so there's a huge part of me that feels like a total loser for posting this risk, but hey, I guess that's part of the process, right?
So, just in case you're reading this and don't know me well, I'll give you a brief background. I am single. And not even like a little single. Like no one has made it past a second date in 3 years kind of single. The kind of single that makes people wonder if you're secretly playing for the other team.
There are several reasons I'm so single.
#1. I am incredibly picky. I put this first because I own that. I know I need to expand my horizons, be less judgmental, blah blah blah. I know! Hence how this risk came about.
#2. My job does nothing to help my dating prospects. While I love working with children, chances are slim that I'll find the love of my life in the children's area at the Building Museum, or at one of our weekly story times.
#3. I hang out at the lesbian bar way too often. I have a special place in my heart for Phase 1 in DC and I have some awesome friends that love to go there. Again, not helping my prospects. I am 99.999% certain the man of my dreams is not shooting pool in DC's oldest lesbian establishment.
Sigh, the list could go on, but I'll spare you. After doing a bit of research about which site to sign up for, I made my decision. Enter, Match.com. I decided I'd sign up for a month and see how it goes. Creating a profile is intimidating! It's not like applying for a job or performing in front of a crowd You have to make yourself seem fun, intelligent, driven, and interesting and have pictures to back that shit up! And don't get me started on the pictures! How are you supposed to choose? You don't want to only post pictures of yourself at your hottest because face it, that's not realistic. But you also hesitate to put up a picture of you when you're bumming it because you don't want people to know you look like that sometimes quite yet. Couple that with the fact that most of the pictures on my iphone are of the kids I take care of and the ones from facebook are from burlesque shows, I had no idea what to post. After a lot of searching and deciding, I think I picked a pretty good smattering of pictures that accurately reflect what I look like most of the time.
I immediately got a few "winks" and emails from people, but they weren't from anyone I'd consider dating (maybe that's part of my problem?) unfortunately. I have a 30 day membership, so I'm hoping something decent will come out of this. Or at the very least no one turns me into the subject of a Lifetime Movie...
Eeeek! Omg, so there's a huge part of me that feels like a total loser for posting this risk, but hey, I guess that's part of the process, right?
So, just in case you're reading this and don't know me well, I'll give you a brief background. I am single. And not even like a little single. Like no one has made it past a second date in 3 years kind of single. The kind of single that makes people wonder if you're secretly playing for the other team.
There are several reasons I'm so single.
#1. I am incredibly picky. I put this first because I own that. I know I need to expand my horizons, be less judgmental, blah blah blah. I know! Hence how this risk came about.
#2. My job does nothing to help my dating prospects. While I love working with children, chances are slim that I'll find the love of my life in the children's area at the Building Museum, or at one of our weekly story times.
#3. I hang out at the lesbian bar way too often. I have a special place in my heart for Phase 1 in DC and I have some awesome friends that love to go there. Again, not helping my prospects. I am 99.999% certain the man of my dreams is not shooting pool in DC's oldest lesbian establishment.
Sigh, the list could go on, but I'll spare you. After doing a bit of research about which site to sign up for, I made my decision. Enter, Match.com. I decided I'd sign up for a month and see how it goes. Creating a profile is intimidating! It's not like applying for a job or performing in front of a crowd You have to make yourself seem fun, intelligent, driven, and interesting and have pictures to back that shit up! And don't get me started on the pictures! How are you supposed to choose? You don't want to only post pictures of yourself at your hottest because face it, that's not realistic. But you also hesitate to put up a picture of you when you're bumming it because you don't want people to know you look like that sometimes quite yet. Couple that with the fact that most of the pictures on my iphone are of the kids I take care of and the ones from facebook are from burlesque shows, I had no idea what to post. After a lot of searching and deciding, I think I picked a pretty good smattering of pictures that accurately reflect what I look like most of the time.
I immediately got a few "winks" and emails from people, but they weren't from anyone I'd consider dating (maybe that's part of my problem?) unfortunately. I have a 30 day membership, so I'm hoping something decent will come out of this. Or at the very least no one turns me into the subject of a Lifetime Movie...
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Risk #1
Okay, it's here, the first day of my 30 risks challenge. Even though I'd been diligently working on my list, I was nervous about where to begin, what risks were good and which were cop outs, everything! But I had to constantly remind myself that this challenge is about me and what I need to do, so here goes.
Day 1: Write a letter to my sister
For those of you who know me, you're probably thinking, "you talk to your sister ten thousand times every day, why are you writing her a letter?" That's because most of you forget that I have another sister. We're 20 years apart (yep I was one of those accident babies lol) and share the same mother, but not the same father. It wasn't until I was third grade that it dawned on me that she was my "half sister." We've never used that term, she's always just been my sister. We've never lived together, she lives in Tennessee with her husband and two sons. I see them once each year on Thanksgiving.
When I was younger, nothing got me more excited than the prospect of seeing my big sister. She would come down to my grandparents' house and take us to town and we'd spend a few days having a great time together. Because I was young back then, I never observed the dynamic between her and my parents. I was just a 7 year old, happy to be spending time with her big sister.
As I've gotten older though, I have noticed that there is a rift between us. I have never been able to really get a clear understanding of it, but there is clearly a line drawn: My middle sister Alisha and I on one side, and Veronica on the other. I've had many theories in the past about what has caused this division (issues with our parents, jealousy, anger, etc.) and I've discussed them with close friends and Alisha at length many times. But I took a moment and realized there was one person I'd never talked to about the situation: Veronica. It's so easy to laugh and catch up over bottles of wine and a big Thanksgiving dinner every year, but our relationship should (and could) be so much more than that.
So I picked a pretty blank card from Target and my favorite fine point Sharpie and sat down to write. Instead of being annoyed and complaining about the fact that she doesn't call me on my birthday every year, I'd ask her why. I'd ask her why she's never sent the boys up to DC to spend some time with me. I'd ask why she doesn't find our relationship important enough to hold a significant place in her life. I picked up my pen...and completed freaked out. It was the strangest thing! Suddenly I felt nervous about the things I wanted to say to her, how she would take it when she read it, and if this was even an appropriate thing to do. It was like all the vigor had drained out of me. But somehow I pushed myself to start writing. And at the end, I had asked most of the things that bothered me the most. But most importantly, I wrote them in a kind way. Not from the accusatory place that I had envisioned and not from the whiny "why don't you call me?!" place either. It was an open letter from one adult to another, that came from a place of love. I'm not going to lie, this was no easy task. I'm hoping this will help improve our relationship or at least begin a dialogue between us. And even if doesn't, I'll know that I've certainly put forth my effort.
Day 1: Write a letter to my sister
For those of you who know me, you're probably thinking, "you talk to your sister ten thousand times every day, why are you writing her a letter?" That's because most of you forget that I have another sister. We're 20 years apart (yep I was one of those accident babies lol) and share the same mother, but not the same father. It wasn't until I was third grade that it dawned on me that she was my "half sister." We've never used that term, she's always just been my sister. We've never lived together, she lives in Tennessee with her husband and two sons. I see them once each year on Thanksgiving.
When I was younger, nothing got me more excited than the prospect of seeing my big sister. She would come down to my grandparents' house and take us to town and we'd spend a few days having a great time together. Because I was young back then, I never observed the dynamic between her and my parents. I was just a 7 year old, happy to be spending time with her big sister.
As I've gotten older though, I have noticed that there is a rift between us. I have never been able to really get a clear understanding of it, but there is clearly a line drawn: My middle sister Alisha and I on one side, and Veronica on the other. I've had many theories in the past about what has caused this division (issues with our parents, jealousy, anger, etc.) and I've discussed them with close friends and Alisha at length many times. But I took a moment and realized there was one person I'd never talked to about the situation: Veronica. It's so easy to laugh and catch up over bottles of wine and a big Thanksgiving dinner every year, but our relationship should (and could) be so much more than that.
So I picked a pretty blank card from Target and my favorite fine point Sharpie and sat down to write. Instead of being annoyed and complaining about the fact that she doesn't call me on my birthday every year, I'd ask her why. I'd ask her why she's never sent the boys up to DC to spend some time with me. I'd ask why she doesn't find our relationship important enough to hold a significant place in her life. I picked up my pen...and completed freaked out. It was the strangest thing! Suddenly I felt nervous about the things I wanted to say to her, how she would take it when she read it, and if this was even an appropriate thing to do. It was like all the vigor had drained out of me. But somehow I pushed myself to start writing. And at the end, I had asked most of the things that bothered me the most. But most importantly, I wrote them in a kind way. Not from the accusatory place that I had envisioned and not from the whiny "why don't you call me?!" place either. It was an open letter from one adult to another, that came from a place of love. I'm not going to lie, this was no easy task. I'm hoping this will help improve our relationship or at least begin a dialogue between us. And even if doesn't, I'll know that I've certainly put forth my effort.
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